Tomorrow is Easter Sunday and today is always a time of reflection for me as to what I may have learned through these weeks of Lent. Lent is a time of confession, fasting, abstinence, additional prayer, Bible study, spiritual reading and participation in more corporal works of mercy. As a practicing Catholic I am to submit myself to some acts of penance and modest mortifications during the past 40 days of Lent beginning on Ash Wednesday...but did I really take what I did as seriously as I should?
I chose to abstain from meat again this Lent. Not eating meat isn't that big of deal for me but the preparation of meals takes more effort and the strength to resist for the sake of simplicity is what I struggled with. My husband still ate meat at meals and I would prepare an alternative protien for my meal...usually fish, but sometimes eggs or beans. I have become quite used to my somewhat "vegan" meals and have even considered continuing this lifestyle. So I'm not sure that the absence of meat in my daily life was that great a sacrifice for me. It did bring a sense of awareness to me as to why I am abstaining and thus turning my focus to the Lord and his sacrifice for me.
During Lent my Bible Study group completed an awesome study on "God's Promises Fullfilled, A Scriptual Journey with Jesus the Messiah" by Jeanne Kun. It was very good and thought provoking and I enjoyed it very much. I also began study in an on-line class for Catholic Evangelism (which I need to get back to!) Our priest gave me an awesome CD, "The Passion of Christ in Light of the Holy Shroud of Turin" by Fr. Francis Peffley which was very inspriational and informative. I was able to share this CD with friends who were traveling to visit family out of state.Those same friends shared with me their audio book of "The Shack" by William P. Young...a fictional novel and somewhat theologically controversial but entertaining look at the Trinity (I have enjoyed it, however and look forward to discussing it with my daughter who is also reading the book) I attended Mass as often as I could and devoted an hour of adoration to the Lord at 3:00 on Wednesdays (although I forgot once. I felt terrible about that! And missed once but had another soul cover the hour for me) I am so human and prone to the busyness of life...but that hour was such an incredible time for me! I felt the love of God so near and would highly recommend taking an hour out of your busy life and spending it quitely with the Lord whenever you can.
Bob and I read "The Love Dare" for the 40 days of Lent which is a neat little book that goes along with the Christian Movie, "Fireproof" and challenges one to work harder at their marriage relationship. It contains a series of 40 "dares" to do for/with your mate. But was I so involved in wondering if Bob got anything out of it that I failed to participate fully? Did I make as much effort as I should have...could have? Probably not...but at least I do have an awareness of my failure to do so...I guess that is something! And I can continue working on the dares from now on! I was able to share my copy of "Fireproof" with my son and daughter-in-law who are also working on their "dares" in their marriage.
I have always desired the ability to pray openly and easily with my husband and this lent Bob and I have made an extra effort to remember to pray before meals. It may not sound like much, but it is a start to us...a start at praying together, which I hope will grow into more praying together.
Also during these weeks of Lent my future father-in-law ended up at the hospital with a ruptured appendix. I stayed with my mother-in-law for two nights and 3 days at the hospital so she could be by his side and have someone to pray with. He went through a very difficult surgery and is now in recovery. I thank God that everything went well considering the complications and that I was able to help in any small way. One week later, Bob ended up in the hospital and had his gall bladder removed. He did very well with the surgery and was back at work the next day. Since I had my gall bladder removed this last December, I was able to relate well to his discomfort and understand his pain. He is recovering well, too.
I suppose I participated in several acts of penance...but were they over and above what I would have done anyway? I gave to the poor, donated clothing to the needy, visited and prayed for the sick, and offered my help whenever I could. I tried to abstain from spending money selfishly and foolishly. I just always feel it is never enough, considering all the Lord has done for me...but that is why he did what he did...because what I do will never be enough :o) I suppose I will always feel I never do enough...which is better, I suppose, than feeling I have done all I can :o)
Tonight is the Easter Vigil which is a beautiful celebration that begins after sun-down. One of the new candidates joining the Church has asked me to be her sponsor and I am so honored to do so. I am so excited for her as I remember when I went though my confirmation with the Church just two years ago. I wonder if I am truly qualified to do such a task, but I love the Lord so much and desire to share that love in any way I can...so I guess I am qualified. Today I will pray for Angela as she anticipates the ceremony.
Tomorrow is Easter Sunday! I would love to wake up before the sun and go somewhere quite to watch it come up and just take the time to praise and worship with thanksgiving. Maybe I will...maybe I won't...but I would like to. We will be going with Bob's mom and finace to my daughters house for Easter Dinner. My daughter has been preparing for weeks. It will be a good day of gathering and celebrating with the grandkids.
Have a blessed Easter, everyone...whatever you do and however you celebrate. I pray we all remember the sacrifice Jesus made for us on the cross. Lord, please help me to never, never take that for granted.
God Bless!
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