Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

Hi again! I haven't posted lately. I haven't been feeling well for about eight weeks. It is extremely frustrating as I have so much I want to try to accomplish, but don't have the energy to do it. It seems I am getting this way more frequently.

In 2003 I had West Nile and was sick for about 4 months. It really wiped me out, and now whenever I pick up a virus, I feel very much the same way as I did when I was sick back then. Adding to the frustration is the fact that doctors can't seem to diagnose why I feel so badly. Currently, I am trying to find out why I have such swollen glands in my neck and what the mysterious lumps are...lymph nodes???? fatty tumors???? All tests so far have returned normal, including a CT scan. I am going to an otolaryngologist (ear, nose, throat physician) on the 19th for one more shot at a determination and treatment to feel better, but I may have to simply accept the fact that it really is a virus that has once again attacked my suppressed immune system and will just have to "run it's course" however long it may take. I don't like this.

I haven't worked on "The Scrapbook" since getting it back from a friend who helped edit it. I was informed by Publish America that they could not offer me a contract on it though based on the sales performance of my previous published book, "Third & Grace". When I asked what volume of sales warrants a consideration for a contract they replied, "We can not give out sales information at this time. We urge you to focus on the promotion of your published work and invite you to resubmit your manuscript in the future for another evaluation." So...I replied, "Hmmmmm...let me make sure I understand you correctly. You are unable to offer a contract on my current book based on the sales performance of my previously published work, but you are also unable to give out any sales information to justify this decision...does this make any sense to you? I just simply want to know how many of my previously published books need to be sold before you will consider offering a contract on another book? Is your decision to publish based on quality of material or sales generated for you by the marketing abilities of the author? I find it extremely difficult to market and write at the same time...have you heard this from other writers? I also work two part-time jobs to bring in some consistent income, as writing is more of an emotional fulfullment than a monetary one. Thank you for your response and please understand that I am not trying to be difficult...I just want to know what is truly expected from you as my publisher...because that is what I considered you to be and didn't plan on going anywhere else. Thank you for any clarification you can offer. Sincerely...." I never heard anything back from them. I guess I'm not surprised...but I'm not really disappointed either. I think this is an opportunity to maybe hook up with a publisher that will better meet my needs. All I need is the energy to pursue one...and right now I don't have any to spare.

Yes, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I'm crabby and my neck aches. Think I'll just go to bed...maybe tomorrow will be better.